I always feel like time passes ridiculously fast, yet impossibly slow. Anyone else feel that way? 

The year 2017 was quite eventful. After graduating from my bachelor's degree in communications in 2016, I decided to further my education and complete a certificate in marketing. I figured that it would be helpful to have a base in marketing when the time to get a job would come.

2017 is the year that I thought school would be over forever. I finished my certificate around the time my dad got sick and had his heart attack. I studied my heart and ass out and finished with some of the best grades I ever had, and I went on the hunt for a job in the field I'd studied in for four years, nearly five. Seven if you count college. June 2017 is when the puzzle pieces aligned. I found a job quickly after only three job interviews. Administrative coordinator in a marketing agency. I had my doubts about the job, but I figured that it would be a great spot to learn. Start at the bottom of the ladder, you know?

Fuck, was I wrong.

There weren't many things I liked about my job. I started on the 3rd of July 2017, and from there, everything went downhill. I think part of it was because I started working there knowing at the back of my mind that it would just be temporary. I didn't feel, straight from the beginning, that I belonged there, and I wasn't sure if it was the job itself or the entire field. But after five years in university, you try not to doubt your field. Five years is a long time and a lot of money just to turn your back on everything.

But to be fair, I completely hated the job. I hated the environment, the tasks, the people. I hated being in an office, locked out of the world. I hated how people treated me like a know-it-all university graduate when all I wanted was to learn. Making mistakes seemed to be the end of the world, but instead of helping me and teaching me through them, I only got reprimanded. I didn't learn, I only got told wrong. 

Let's just say that these past few months, a lot of tears have been shed. I have been feeling helpless and, admittedly, dumb. 

So last November, I enrolled in prerequisites for nursing. First sciences, then chemistry, which I am still completing at the moment. It's a 360 from what I'd been doing, but I crave the need of feeling helpful. I need to be surrounded by people and be in direct contact with humans. And most of all, I need a job satisfaction. At the end of the day, I need to feel like I've done something to help at least one person. Marketing doesn't give you any of that. 

I've quickly come to realize that marketing is all about money. People don't care if what you do is crap, as long as it brings in the cash. I did not have any job satisfaction, and I certainly didn't come home like I'd done something to help this world be a little bit better. In fact, it was the opposite. Every day, I helped the corrupted system make more money by giving them marketing tools to grow their fraudulent business. Maybe some people climax from doing that, but I certainly don't.

So the question is, is nursing for me? I have no idea. My absence of any disgust towards cringe-worthy things such as blistering skin, internal organs, and shit (quite literally), as well as my love for diseases, needles, and bodily fluids says yes. I guess the only way we'll know is by trying.

Thanks for reading!

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