That Unwritten Diary

I always feel like time passes ridiculously fast, yet impossibly slow. Anyone else feel that way? 

The year 2017 was quite eventful. After graduating from my bachelor's degree in communications in 2016, I decided to further my education and complete a certificate in marketing. I figured that it would be helpful to have a base in marketing when the time to get a job would come.

2017 is the year that I thought school would be over forever. I finished my certificate around the time my dad got sick and had his heart attack. I studied my heart and ass out and finished with some of the best grades I ever had, and I went on the hunt for a job in the field I'd studied in for four years, nearly five. Seven if you count college. June 2017 is when the puzzle pieces aligned. I found a job quickly after only three job interviews. Administrative coordinator in a marketing agency. I had my doubts about the job, but I figured that it would be a great spot to learn. Start at the bottom of the ladder, you know?

Fuck, was I wrong.

There weren't many things I liked about my job. I started on the 3rd of July 2017, and from there, everything went downhill. I think part of it was because I started working there knowing at the back of my mind that it would just be temporary. I didn't feel, straight from the beginning, that I belonged there, and I wasn't sure if it was the job itself or the entire field. But after five years in university, you try not to doubt your field. Five years is a long time and a lot of money just to turn your back on everything.

But to be fair, I completely hated the job. I hated the environment, the tasks, the people. I hated being in an office, locked out of the world. I hated how people treated me like a know-it-all university graduate when all I wanted was to learn. Making mistakes seemed to be the end of the world, but instead of helping me and teaching me through them, I only got reprimanded. I didn't learn, I only got told wrong. 

Let's just say that these past few months, a lot of tears have been shed. I have been feeling helpless and, admittedly, dumb. 

So last November, I enrolled in prerequisites for nursing. First sciences, then chemistry, which I am still completing at the moment. It's a 360 from what I'd been doing, but I crave the need of feeling helpful. I need to be surrounded by people and be in direct contact with humans. And most of all, I need a job satisfaction. At the end of the day, I need to feel like I've done something to help at least one person. Marketing doesn't give you any of that. 

I've quickly come to realize that marketing is all about money. People don't care if what you do is crap, as long as it brings in the cash. I did not have any job satisfaction, and I certainly didn't come home like I'd done something to help this world be a little bit better. In fact, it was the opposite. Every day, I helped the corrupted system make more money by giving them marketing tools to grow their fraudulent business. Maybe some people climax from doing that, but I certainly don't.

So the question is, is nursing for me? I have no idea. My absence of any disgust towards cringe-worthy things such as blistering skin, internal organs, and shit (quite literally), as well as my love for diseases, needles, and bodily fluids says yes. I guess the only way we'll know is by trying.

Thanks for reading!

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If you haven't read my first post on Invisalign (which you can find by clicking here), I highly suggest that you do, as this is a post-treatment update.

I started my Invisalign treatment on November 1st of 2016 with a total of 36 pairs of trays to change every 5 days. If you don't know what Invisalign is and you really don't feel like reading the previous post, it's basically an orthodontic treatment that consists of clear trays to straighten your teeth. On March 22nd, I used my last trays and was recommended by my orthodontist to only wear them 12 hours a day (so basically at night) for a couple of months, until I received my Reviva trays that I would only wear at night for the rest of my life.

Yes, you heard right. The. Rest. Of. My. Life.

It sounded scary at first, knowing that I would have to wear a piece of plastic on both set of teeth for the rest of my life, every night. But their purpose is to prevent your teeth from moving after your treatment, and also to prevent breakage if, like me, you tend to grind your teeth at night. Your orthodontist may also give you the choice to get a metal bar glued to your bottom teeth, but considering that my teeth were already damaged from grinding, I agreed to the Reviva treatment.

It has now been three months since the end of my treatment, and my teeth have not moved at all. (The picture at the bottom of the page shows the before and after. The bumps on the side of my teeth on the first picture are the attachments that hold the trays in place. I also have some on the back of my front teeth.) When I first started my treatment, I didn't think I'd see such good results. Sure, I had faith in the treatment, otherwise I wouldn't have agreed to it since it's so expensive. But it was more than worth it. My teeth are perfectly straight, and surprisingly, sleeping with my trays has gotten so comfortable. They're so thin that they're barely noticeable.

I wouldn't recommend the Invisalign treatment to everyone, though. Taking care of your trays and your teeth (brushing your teeth and cleaning your trays every time you eat or drink anything else than water) can be a pain, especially if you're at the restaurant or at school where the toilets aren't necessary the cleanest. This treatment is definitely for adults that are ready to dedicate an extra five to ten minutes after every meal/drink, as well as in the morning. I believe that traditional braces are still appropriate for teenagers.

I hope this helped to understand the Invisalign process, and don't be shy to leave comments or questions if needed!

If you're prone to having acne, you probably know the struggle of keeping your skin hydrated. 99% of beauty products made for acne are super drying, and that's because salicylic acid and benzoyl peroxide, while magical for clearing acne, strip your skin from its natural oils and water. Don't take me wrong, those are incredible ingredients, but they can have nasty side effects on your skin.

I struggle with surface dryness caused by using harsh acne products. My acne is hormonal and mostly located around my chin and temples, but I also struggle with dilated pores and congestion around my nose and forehead. I have extremely dry under-eyes, which causes fine lines despite my relatively young age, and putting on makeup can be a pain when half of my face is peeling off from all this dryness.

You recognize yourself in my skin? Keep on reading!

The first lesson is not to get discouraged. You might need to try a lot of products before you find something hydrating that doesn't break you out. It costs money, but in the end, when your skin is soft and plumped with hydration, it's totally worth it.

Be patient. Products don't work overnight, and acne scars might take even longer than active breakouts to clear up and get better. Establish a morning and night routine, and keeping up with it will give you results within two to four weeks. However, significant results usually take around twelve weeks.

I have learned through time that low-end drugstore product just don't do the trick for me, and that's also the case for a lot of people. Don't be scared to invest in high-end dermatological products, such as Bioderma, La Roche-Posay, Vichy, etc.

Go for products made for sensitive skin. You want to keep your skin hydrated, but you don't want it to react badly to something. Harsh products can induce acne, and you're trying to get rid of it.

Check the ingredients. You want to look for those: Hyaluronic Acid, Niacinamide, Urea, and Hydrogenated Polysobutene. These ingredients are hydrating, water-retaining, and also very safe for acne-prone skin. You may want to keep using Salicylic Acid, Glycolic Acid, Benzoyl Peroxide, Retinoids, Lactic Acid and other exfoliating enzymes to keep flaky skin away. These help with skin cell renewal, and your hydrating products will be significantly more effective afterwards.

In the same train of thoughts, don't stray way from oils. Some oils may be very effective at hydrating your skin and keeping it clear at the same time. Rosehip Oil, Jojoba Oil, Avocado Oil, and Squalane are safe for acne, and they will make a big difference in the texture of your skin. Raw Honey also makes a great hydrating mask if used once or twice a week for fifteen minutes.

Don't believe everything beauty consultants tell you. You don't need to buy ridiculously expensive products at Sephora to hydrate your skin. Research first, ask a lot of questions, and request samples. Good dermatological products might be more expensive than drugstore brands, but they're still half the price of what you may find at Sephora.

Consult a dermatologist if you're not sure of what to do. They can point out what might work better according to your skin type, and if you have active breakouts, cysts, or other skin issues that you haven't been able to clear up, dermatologists can be very helpful.

I hope this helped, and good luck!

*Words in bold are links to products you might find interesting

It is widely known in the reading world that Amy Harmon is a goddess. In fact, for some people, she is considered the God of writing. While I have read some of her books and thought that they were good – but not over the top – this one, From Sand and Ash, really struck me.

The story takes place in Italy from 1939 to the end of World War II and revolves around a Jewish girl named Eva Rosselli. Raised with a Catholic family friend, Angelo Bianco, she sees no difference between both religions as she grows up. Her family is relatively wealthy and important in the Italian society, and there was never any discrimination done towards the young girl. That was until 1939.

Eva's family is destroyed over the years. Each member disappears one by one, taken by the Gestapo as the reign of terror rises. But Angelo Bianco is a priest to be, and as one of the "safe ones" during the war, he hides Eva in a convent to keep her from being taken away. And she's not the only one. Fake papers are popular among the Jewish community, and a group of Catholics helps those people stay safe. While they can.

Holy shit, I finally read Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. I know, right? So 1991. And I know there's a TV show and all (which I have also watched), but after having the book recommended to me by so many people, I just had to give in and read it.

And holy shit, it was amazing.

I'd planned on reading this book a long time ago. Back in my first year of high school, circa 2005, one of my favorite teachers told me, upon finding out that I was a bookworm, that the day I turned 16(because the book is rated R I believe), I had to read Outlander. Apparently I reminded her of one of the characters, and while I'm still trying to figure out if that's Laoghaire or Geillis, it was because of my bright red hair and Scottish origins.

Then I forgot all about it until the TV series was announced a couple of years ago, and I'd been meaning to read it ever since.

I was never a fan of historical fiction. I know, I suck, but books that I can't relate to because of historical events I wasn't alive for, or because of supernatural skills, I just don't usually enjoy them as much. But holy shit (last time, I promise), this book was absolutely fantastic. So good, that I've already finished the second book and I'm about to devour the third.

So the book follows around twenty-seven-year-old Claire Randall (later known as Claire Beauchamp and Claire Fraser) who is visiting the Highlands of Scotland with her husband, Frank Randall, six months after the end of the Second World War. That's in 1945, in case you weren't sure. Frank is a historian and professor, and he spends most of his trip learning about the Highlands and the history of the beautiful country. Claire is a fully-trained nurse with a passion for plants and natural medicine, and a sort of hatred for history.

A day after witnessing a Scottish ritual with her husband on the grounds of Craigh na Dun (I love saying that), she returns to stones alone, only to be sent to 1743. And what a shock it is.

In 1743, the Scots are about to start a war with the Brits, and Claire Beauchamp is taken hostage by the MacKenzies who suspect she might be a British spy. This group includes Jamie Fraser, a twenty-three-year-old Wanted man for theft and murder.

Claire is suspicious of everyone. Not only is she not in her country, but she's also not in her time. In 1743, people kill for no apparent reason. Hygiene is different. Food isn't as easily accessible. Life is completely different from everything she's ever known, apart from plants. Plants are pretty similar, so she becomes a healer. Fewer people die, and people become healthier.

But since her husband was a historian in 1945, Claire knows that the Scots will lose the war. She knows most of the historical events, and changing the past might disturb the future.

Needless to say, she's in danger. The Brits want her, and it's getting trickier to hide from the world. So her only two options include to marry or to die. Also, she's too good of a healer. The only plausible explanation behind that, according to the 1743 civilization, is that she's a witch (that chapter is amazing).

Then war is declared. She knows the outcome, but she doesn't want to die. She also doesn't want her husband or her friends to die, and by then, Jamie knows about 1945 and Craigh na Dun. "You will return to your husband," he tells her, and God, that sentence still breaks my heart just thinking about it.

The second book follows Claire in a flashback from the moment war is declared to when she crosses back to 1948, three years after her disappearance. Then twenty years later, her daughter is twenty years old and they finally return to the Highlands to finish what Claire has started. A search to know if Jamie did or did not die during the war. What she finds is surprising.

I'm totally giving spoilers here, so I'm sorry, but that was such an intense book that I still have chills. Loved it.

There are a few things that turned me off. One of which is the length. I love a book that never ends when the story is just too good, but some chapters are filled with text and never-ending thoughts that, to be honest, could have been skipped. And they have, in the TV series, which is admittedly just as good as the books.

One other thing is the writing. I feel like written English is the same for everyone, whether you're a Scot or a Brit or an American. But the author used very Scottish writing, such as "ye" instead of "you", which was sometimes annoying. I do understand the need to emphasize the fact that people had thick accents back then, but it was a little bit overdone in my opinion. I apologize to those of you who disagree, but they, this is Canada, so I can say what I want!

The rest of the writing was impeccable, as well as the humor thrown here and there in the book. My favorite sentence will forever be, "How was your first time, Jamie? Did you bleed?"

God, I love these boys.

This is probably a very boring post, but here are the books I read this month. Some of them have been reviewed, some haven't, but if you click on the titles, you'll automatically be redirected to their Goodreads page to get a better idea of the plot. I've listed them in order, from my favorite to my least favorite (top to bottom).

Also, feel free to suggest your favorite books in the comments below. Everyone knows I'm always looking for some new books!

Him - Elle Kennedy & Sarina Bowen

Us - Elle Kennedy & Sarina Bowen

The Year We Fell Down by Sarina Bowen is the first book in the Ivy Years series, and it was a very quick, fun read about hockey, sports, and college. You may have noticed that I really enjoy stories with a college setting, but then again, I am in college, so why not?

The story follows Corey Callahan, a freshman at Harkness College, who is independent for the first time in her life. Or, to be exact, for the first time since her spinal cord injury while playing hockey. Starting college in a wheelchair can be hard, but her courage and strength are the first things people notice about her – not that chair. She's lucky enough to have an incredible roommate in her deluxe dorm, but her neighbor is the one that catches her attention the most.

Junior student Adam Hartley usually plays hockey, but the massive cast on his leg prevents him from skating for the season. The good thing about it is that he had to be moved from his regular dorm room to an accessible dorm on the first floor, right across Corey's dorm. The next great thing about this semester is that his very high maintenance girlfriend is in Paris. 

The two students quickly bond over hockey, the RealStix videogame, and their handicap. They spend several nights on the couch, just playing videogames and chatting about everything. And on top of that, they share an econ class, which means that studying can be done together instead of alone.

But Hartley has a girlfriend. She may be across the world, but she's still very there, and Corey has to remind herself constantly that he's not hers. He's nice, he's funny, and he loves hockey, but he's also very taken.

So yeah, the book is pretty predictable, but aren't they all?

The story is told in dual POV, so you get to peek inside Corey's head, but also inside Hartley's head. The boys are also definitely not as "douchey" as they were in The Deal by Elle Kennedy, which I recently reviewed and didn't like. I think Sarina Bowen has a great way of exploring a man's brain, and it probably what made the difference between her writing and Elle Kennedy's in Him. 

The writing was also nothing to complained about. The constant switch between present tense and past tense could be a little bit annoying at times, but some authors don't like to stick to past tense entirely, so it's to be expected. I just love how developed the story was despite its shortness. 

I don't have a lot to say about this story other than the fact that I thought it was a really cute page turner. It was such an easy read that I've already started the third book of the series, which can be read as a standalone. A review will come on that later.

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